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You lot tin't help merely bespeak out all the niggling things your partner says or does "wrong."
In every relationship, each partner has at least one addiction that ticks the other off. Although it'due south normal to not come across everything center to eye, if you discover yourself annoyed about everything your S.O. says or does — and experience the need to tell them so — it could mean you're accidentally sabotaging your human relationship.
"Needing to control our partner's identity, deportment, and thoughts is the reverse of beloved," Winter told Elite Daily. "It'southward most condom. It's a i-sided obsession to guarantee conformity, which equals safety. It has aught to do with love or intimacy."
Masking your criticisms as "jokes" tin likewise exist a sign that you're resentful, not helpful, Lisa Marie Bobby, a psychologist and spousal relationship and family therapist, previously told INSIDER.
You keep your feelings to yourself when you're upset with your partner.
While constantly critiquing inconsequential issues like cucumber-slicing technique is problematic, so likewise is keeping mum about things that actually thing, like your emotions when your partner says or does something that upsets yous.
But bottling upwards your emotions likely ways the problem will happen over again, creating pent-up negative feelings and fifty-fifty resentment. Even if you think your partner knows you lot well enough to pick up on how you're feeling, it'due south not their job to play psychic medium, human relationship coach David Bennett of Double Trust Dating previously told INSIDER.
"In strong relationships, partners are honest and assertive about expressing their needs, and their partners are the same way," Bennett said.
Read more: 6 questions to enquire yourself before telling your partner y'all cheated on them
The side by side time you don't experience quite correct about something in your relationship, speak up about it rather than waiting for your partner to come to you.
You lot always tag along when your partner is with friends.
On a surface level, beingness attached to your partner at the hip makes information technology seem like yous honey each other so much you can't stand to be apart. In reality, however, spending every possible moment together could exist a sign you're codependent.
"Codependency is excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner," clinical psychologist Jennifer Rhodes previously told INSIDER.
Although codependency is skillful to an extent because it fosters trust and an intimate bail in your relationship, doing nearly everything together could ultimately lead to relationship issues because you might overwhelm your partner and lower your own self-esteem.
You lot similar to have the final word during arguments.
If every time y'all and your partner get into an argument, you find yourself trying to "win" or accept things your way, it could mean yous're viewing the relationship completely wrong.
According to Winter, a person who constantly has to accept the terminal word views their relationship equally a "conquest" or a test of desirability.
She too told Elite Daily that, if you act this way, "relationships are simply one more way for y'all to feel your own sense of power."
The next time you grab yourself trying to come up out on top of a disagreement with your boo, consider why that is and endeavor to compromise instead.
Read more than: ten signs you're growing apart from your partner
You lot've suggested breaking up during more one argument.
Similar to having the last word, threatening to break upward during an argument with your partner could mean you're trying to dispense the state of affairs to go your manner.
That's because defaulting to the break-upwards conversation regularly suggests if you don't "win" the argument, yous'll exit your partner.
"People use threats as a way to get their partner in line," Stan Tatkin, a psychologist and developer of A Psychological Arroyo to Couple Therapy (PACT), told Reader's Digest. "People should never threaten the relationship unless they intend to get out. It's just valid if you mean information technology and do it, otherwise it just amercement the safety and security of the relationship."
When your partner is having a bad solar day, you tell them to get over it.
If, on your partner'southward off days, you tell them to cheer upwards and get over it, you lot could be hurting your relationship in the long run.
Your intentions may be to help them motility on and be happy again, only beingness unwilling to console your partner when they're going through a rough patch suggests yous're non really available for their needs and want them to bounce back and exist ready for your needs instead.
"We have no right to tell them what they should feel," Winter told Elite Daily. "Doing so is indicative of command bug, and ones designed for our comfort."
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Source: https://www.insider.com/signs-youre-bad-partner-even-if-you-think-you-arent-2019-7
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